What To Do If You Think Your Spouse Is Cheating

If you think your spouse may be cheating, you can feel betrayed, insecure and intensely upset. Confronting your partner may be scary and if you’ve already confronted them, and they deny it, then it’s difficult to know what your next steps should be. While suspicions aren't proof of infidelity, you can address them with sensitivity and clarity. Here are some tools if you suspect your spouse is being unfaithful.

1.    Assess Your Feelings

Before taking any action, acknowledge and process your emotions. Feeling hurt, betrayed, angry, and confused are all normal reactions to suspicions of infidelity. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment, and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist if needed. But also take this opportunity to look at the relationship – are there problems or issues that you haven’t addressed? What has been your part in any problems? This will enable you to approach the situation in a more balanced way.

2. Communicate Openly (When Ready)

Once you've processed your emotions and gathered your thoughts, consider having an open and honest conversation with your spouse. Approach the discussion with compassion and avoid accusations or hostility. Take responsibility for your part of the issues in your relationship. For example, if you’ve been focusing on the children and not on your relationship, admit that. If you haven't been good at communicating your feelings, let your partner know. Express your desire to be truthful with each other and talk about difficult topics in a calm and respectful manner. Keep in mind that denial or defensiveness may be initial reactions, and it may take time for your spouse to be forthcoming.

3. Seek Professional Guidance

If you're struggling to navigate the situation on your own, seeking guidance from a therapist or marriage counselor can be helpful. A trained professional can help facilitate constructive communication, explore underlying issues within the relationship, and provide support as you navigate this challenging time.

4. Focus on Self-Care

Regardless of the outcome, prioritize your self-care. Do things that bring you joy and create calmness, such as exercise, listening to music, hobbies, or spending time with supportive loved ones. Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being will help you cope with the stress and uncertainty surrounding the situation.

5. Consider Your Options

If your spouse confirms he or she is having an affair or if you're unable to rebuild trust in the relationship, consider what your options are moving forward. This includes couples therapy to address underlying issues, taking a temporary separation to gain perspective, or ultimately deciding to end the relationship if you feel that you can’t trust your partner.

6. Trust Your Instincts

Ultimately, trust your instincts and intuition throughout this process. You know your relationship and your spouse better than anyone else. While suspicions of infidelity should be approached with caution, don't ignore red flags or dismiss your gut feelings.

​
Final Thoughts

Suspecting that your spouse may be cheating is an upsetting and overwhelming experience. However, how you choose to address and navigate the situation can have a significant impact on your well-being and the future of your relationship. By approaching the situation with compassion, honesty, and self-care, you can find clarity, resolution, and ultimately, peace of mind, whatever the outcome may be.