Finding Balance in Marriage and Parenthood

Marriage and parenthood are transformative life experiences. It's natural to feel a sense of responsibility towards your children and spouse. However, you’re not able to take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of your own needs. When we neglect our own self-care, it can lead to feelings of emptiness, exhaustion, and ultimately we can’t be effective partners and parents.

Self-sacrifice sounds good – we have children and we know we need to sacrifice. But how much do you sacrifice? Do you give up on all of your needs? It may seem like it’s the right thing to do, but it can lead to a loss of self-identity and unhappiness. And juggling the demands of parenting, career, and maintaining a healthy marital relationship is really hard. Sometimes it’s easier just to give up on what we want and need. But ignoring our own mental and emotional needs isn’t good for the marriage. Plus, you’re not being a good role model for your children.

Here are some things that you can do to find balance:

1. Prioritize Self-care: It’s not enough to take care of yourself when you get around to it. Because guess what? You probably won’t ever get around to it. You need to know what it is you need to be happy and make sure you make time for it. Whether that’s working out, spending time with friends, volunteering or starting a hobby.

2. Take care of your marriage: Make time for date nights, weekends away and activities that you enjoy together that don’t involve the kids. If you don’t have family who can care for your children, find other parents in the same boat and trade off taking care of the children.

3. Time Management: Schedule time for yourself within the family routine. Whether it's a few minutes of solitude each day or setting aside a dedicated day for yourself, finding small moments is crucial.

4. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or professional counselors for guidance and understanding.  There’s no need to do this alone!

By focusing on yourself and on your relationship, you’ll be a better partner and parent. Reconnecting with your own desires, interests, and aspirations is not a selfish act but an essential aspect of leading a fulfilling life. By acknowledging and honoring your personal needs, and the needs of your relationship, you can strengthen your capacity to nurture and support those you care for. You’ll be more present, purposeful, and fulfilled in your life and your family will benefit