Four Things to Consider When Your Marriage is Struggling

​Are you unhappy in your marriage and thinking about divorce? Research shows that a person thinks about divorce for an average of 7 years before making the decision to divorce. Divorce is one of the most difficult decisions and it makes sense to consider the following before making a final decision:
 
1. Try marriage counseling. Especially if there are children involved, you should try to work on the marriage before you decide to divorce. If there is physical or emotional abuse, marriage counseling is not recommended. However, if there isn’t any abuse, marriage counseling can improve the marriage and it’s worth your time and effort to see if you can save the marriage. Note that in order for counseling to work, both parties must be willing to work on the marriage through counseling.  

2. Would you rather be alone than with your spouse? Marriage is difficult and it’s easy to think about a fantasy person who would be better than your current spouse. Every person has issues so if you think there’s someone out there who’s perfect for you, you’re not thinking about marriage realistically. However, if you feel that you’d rather be alone than with your spouse, then there’s a real problem in the marriage.
 
3. Have you been to individual therapy? Maybe the problems in your marriage are a result of your individual issues – issues from your childhood, grief from losing someone, a trauma that you’ve experienced, a mid-life crisis or some other issue that you haven’t worked through. Getting into individual therapy is a good idea when you’re making such a significant, life-changing decision.
 
4. Do you have support? Do you have people around you to support you if you make the decision to divorce? It’s so important to have friends, family, a therapist, a religious mentor, a support group and a divorce coach. You need as much support as possible as you go through divorce.  

Take your time to think through the decision to divorce.  Work through the emotional and practical steps to get there and make sure that you have support. If you follow these steps, you’ll feel confident that you’re doing the right thing and you’ll be able to move forward in a constructive way.