Talk To Yourself

Many people have negative thinking patterns.  Changing these negative patterns is the basis for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is one of the most successful techniques used in therapy.  Some examples of negative thoughts are:  

• "I didn't finish my project on time.  I never do things right."
• "I'm going to make a fool of myself and people will laugh at me."
• "It's obvious she doesn't like me, otherwise she would have said hello."

Once in a while, we all have thoughts like these.  But if it happens much of the time, these negative thinking patterns can have serious consequences. Our thoughts impact the way we feel and repetitive negative thoughts can lead to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. 

What can we do about it? The first step is to notice when you have one of these thoughts. Stop yourself from continuing to think about it by asking yourself two questions: What is the evidence that this thought is actually true? What is the evidence that this thought is not true?  Because these thoughts are usually distorted, it is likely there will be a lot more evidence that the thought is not true.

After you recognize the thought is not true, replace the negative thought with a positive one:

• "Although I didn't finish my project on time, I usually do very good work."
• "I'm going to do well."
• "She probably didn't say hello because she didn't see me."

At first it may feel awkward to do this but it will become more natural with practice.  Give CBT a try and let me know how it goes!