The Mother Bear
Thank you to guest writer, Carla C. Hugo, divorce coach at www.getcoached.com!
When a threat comes between you and your child, what's your first response? Often, your hackles are raised and your lips recede baring your teeth, all in an attempt to defend your “cub.”
What happens when the threat to your child is the dissolution of your own marriage? Facing divorce is as frightening as any other threat to your children’s well-being. And in this state of emotion, you function from your “Reptilian Brain.” This is the part of your brain that is activated for survival. Your response to the threat of a broken home for your children may include fight, flight, fear or freezing.
It is imperative that you learn techniques to move out of your emotional brain and into your logical-thinking brain. Otherwise, you will be making life long decisions about parenting time, housing, alimony and child-support from the short-term survival decision making part of your brain. Doing so can cause long-term challenges on your life and those precious cubs you long to protect.
Get the neutral support you need from a counselor or coach. Learn to feel your emotions, and to refrain from making major life decisions while in an emotional state. A counselor that has experience with divorce or a coach who specializes in divorce are both great resources. Thinking with your logical brain will enable you to protect your “cub” and function better. If you’re functioning better, your children will function better and you will be able to make the right decisions for your family's future.
Jill Barnett Kaufman, MSW, LCSW and Certified Parent Educator is an experienced clinician who helps clients discover new ways to resolve a variety of challenges and bring more happiness and peace into their lives.