What is Gaslighting, and What Can You Do About it?

Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like you're constantly walking on eggshells? Do you think you can never do anything right and that your partner is always ready to criticize or accuse you of something? If so, then you may be experiencing gaslighting. 

Unfortunately, gaslighting is a common form of emotional abuse. In this blog post, we'll discuss what gaslighting is, how to identify it, and what steps you can take to protect yourself from it.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse in which the abuser subtly or overtly undermines the reality of their partner. It is a particularly insidious form of abuse done gradually, making it difficult for the victim to detect. Even if the victim is aware that something is wrong, they may doubt themselves, believing that they are being paranoid.

Signs That You're Being Gaslighted

Listed below are common signs that your partner is gaslighting you:

• Things that go wrong are always your fault 
• Your partner doesn’t apologize
• You're told that you’re being too sensitive
• You’re afraid to make simple decisions for fear that your partner will not agree
• Your partner corrects you and doesn’t let little things go
• You’re insecure and apologize all the time
• You constantly seek acceptance from your partner
• Your partner is always the victim
• You question your worth
• Your gut always tells you that something is not right
• You lie to your partner to avoid conflict

What Can You Do About it?

Recognize the problem – It is critical to recognize the signs of gaslighting. Common examples of gaslighting:

• You know that you said something to your partner and they say that you never said it so you question your own memory.
• Your partner expects things from you that doesn’t seem fair but there is no way that they will compromise or empathize with you.
• When your partner is angry with you, they won’t speak to you for days.
• Your partner is critical of you and makes you feel bad about yourself. 
• Your partner doesn’t appreciate you and tells you that you don’t appreciate him or her.
• What’s good for your partner to do isn’t good for you to do.
• Your partner is causing you to question your own reality.
• Your partner controls who you spend time with and what you do with your time.

Practice self-compassion – You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Fill your life with people who make you feel good about yourself and who will support you during difficult times. Healing from gaslighting will take time, but it is possible. You are strong and capable of overcoming this challenge.

Confront your partner – Try to have a conversation with them about it. There's a possibility they're not even aware they're doing it, and simply bringing it to their attention may be enough to get them to stop. You can also put up boundaries. If your partner treats you disrespectfully, end the conversation and let them know that you’ll speak to them when they are respectful.

Leave the relationship – It's critical to take action if you're in a relationship with someone who gaslights you and won't stop the behavior. If your partner becomes enraged or puts you in danger, you should think about ending the relationship. Remember that you’re entitled to a healthy and secure relationship.

Gaslighting can be a sign of emotional abuse, and it can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional health. If you're in a relationship with someone who is gaslighting you, a therapist or marriage counselor can work with you individually or as a couple to give you ways to improve the behavior and possibly improve the relationship.